Learn why stopping talking to your kids shouldn’t be a way to correct them

Just like the words we say without thinking, those that we never utter and hide behind the veil of indifference can be very hurtful.

Last update : February 01, 2023

Being a mother or father involves having a lot of patience and empathy to correct children with love and respect. However, punishing them remains one of the most widely used methods of trying to teach an immediate lesson. And while there are many types of scolding, when you ignore children by stopping talking to them, you create big emotional wounds.

On the path of childhood education, it is normal for children to make mistakes: we must guide them so that they try to give the best of themselves. But to change bad attitudes, it is essential that dialogue is used as a tool of mediation. Indeed, walking away from the problem and just ignoring it conveys no positive lessons and sends the wrong messages.

Why is it dangerous to punish children by stopping talking to them?

All parents react differently when their little ones exceed the limits of the house and it becomes necessary to correct their behavior. And while it’s absolutely true that using words lightly as labels or value judgments can affect children’s emotional well-being, when silence is used as punishment, it can be even more dangerous.

indifference, the lack of affection and the sudden change in attitude can be very confusing, painful and even degrading for most children. Also, when used as an automatic response to children’s problems, it is an attitude that inevitably damages the relationship between children and their parents.

Avoiding facing problems does not magically solve them. It only temporarily dismisses them until they reappear – because we haven’t resolved them. Relying on positive parenting also means having uncomfortable but necessary conversations that will allow children to respectfully understand their mistakes and try to correct them.

What does punishing children by stopping talking to them do?

When emotions are running high, withdrawing for a few minutes can be a great idea to calm down a bit and then go talk to your kids. However, when you never discuss issues and use distance as a method of punishment, children feel unprotected and emotionally affected.

Here are some consequences of punishing children by stopping talking to them.

1. It generates low confidence and self-esteem

The foundations of emotional security and self-esteem in children lies in the love and care provided to them from early childhood. This means educating with respect when the little ones make mistakes, to understand the limits that should not be exceeded.

For this reason, when children are ignored in the middle of a discussion and the feedback that any discussion involves is avoided, it will affect their self-image and the bond they have with their parents. Children need the guidance and wisdom of their parents, but not of their emotional abandonment.

2. It produces tension and a fear of abandonment

When parents do not know how to react to the failures of their little ones and simply change their attitude with them, it is a very immature decision not to face responsibilities. Indeed, even if it may seem like an easy way out, it generates great tension and fear of abandonment in children.

Why ? Not only because they don’t know how to decipher their parents’ unstable behavior, but also because they don’t know how to win back their love and affection. It can trigger future mental disorders such as anxiety and stress, or generate great complacency with loved ones for avoid any type of altercation.

3. It does not allow you to send positive lessons

No child comes with a manual under their arm that magically teaches them how to behave. And the role of parents as role models for our children is demonstrated in how we respond to stressful situations. Because, as stressful as they are, they are opportunities tosend life lessons that will guide the little ones forever.

For these and other reasons, effective communication and active listening are necessary to be able to speak with empathy. It is useless to evade the problem and hide it under the shadow of indifference: it is better to speak calmly and explain to the children the consequences of all their actions.

What alternatives exist to avoid punishing children by stopping talking to them?

If we want to use positive parenting with our children, it is very important to fill ourselves withemotional intelligence and to know how to face with maturity the trials that arise along the way. For this reason, instead of punishing, the first thing you can do is prevent inappropriate behavior. In effect, some children may be more impulsive than others and need to be calmed down.

Finally, be an example for your children. If you don’t want your little ones to repeat your behaviors in the future and would rather ignore you than talk to you, try being a good parent to them. So be aware of your great influence and never use any form of violence when it comes to correcting children.

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