Perifit – smart health connected bodybuilding for the perineum

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My cousin Candice (I often tell you about it, but I always use this stupid assumed name that no parent could give her child) is a young, inspiring lady who asked me to write an article on this purely feminine object (although) to be inserted in a place conducive to muscle relaxation: The perineum.

The Perifit is a French project which has just completed its crowdfunding phase. At its head, we find a happy multidisciplinary team of physiotherapists, engineers and crazy people of smart health connected objects. Their objective: Strengthen this area, located between the two natural openings of women (I'm not talking about the brain) in order to avoid any descent of the organ, urinary drip or, worse, incontinence which will force you to wear large swaddles in a sumo style during periods of intense bulimia (my cousin is, at this moment, red with anger by reading these lines, I am going to go to exile in Lapland or I do not give much of my skin. She is tenacious, my cousin).

This object therefore stuffs into the vagina and connects, via Bluetooth, to your smartphone. Good. So far, we’re in the classic, right? No ? Well, now is when it becomes interesting and, a little bit, fun and enjoyable (if I may say so).

Once the Perifit application is launched, you will become a romping butterfly who will wander in the air, looking for lotus flowers (No, we don't talk about Speculoo). By alternating relaxation and contraction of the perineum, you will use the latter as a joystick to direct the foraging insect towards the flower to satisfy your hunger for exotic pollen. How beautiful and romantic.

I can already see you here, at work, waddling in your chair, offering your amazed colleagues a rather peculiar sight of a laying hen unable to drop her egg. The taming of the perineum is not given to everyone.

Perifit was previously in preorder, but you'll have to wait october 2016 to get it, around 149 €.

It remains to be seen whether this French start-up will open its product to developers in order to slightly divert the trajectory of the Perifit to other more … tasty uses. You can always dream … or get hacked.

Source: Perifit

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