What solutions to children’s stress at school?

February 08, 2023

How to recognize that a child is suffering from stress? Aren’t children who don’t work somehow lazy? What are some simple solutions to help a child who is under stress or suffering from stress?

How do you know that a child is stressed? It’s quite easy. There are unmistakable signs. Just ask a few fairly simple questions: Do you often have headaches? Do you often have pain in the neck, shoulders, middle of the back? Do you feel oppressed at the level of the plexus? He should also be asked about the quality of his sleep. Does he have trouble falling asleep? Does he wake up in the morning rested or tired? If the child is tired or has a feeling of fatigue, this means that his sleep is absolutely not restorative. It’s a sign of stress who does not deceive. Finally, you have to ask yourself questions about your school experience – Do you feel overwhelmed in each test? Do you have trouble doing homework? Often the stressed child postpones his homework because he has the impression that it is a mountain to overcome.

You say the child is rarely lazy

Yes absolutely, I stand by what I say, it is rare to deal with a lazy child. I believe that there are children who are overwhelmed by events because they feel like they are failing at school. They feel like no matter what they do, they won’t make it. And from there it is very complicated to get into action.

Isn’t there the risk of disempowering the children? To make children kings of them?

Here it is not a question of considering children as kings, but simply of considering a reality. Any human being cannot manage to move if there is no hope of reward. This is a fact. When there is a hope of reward, in the brain it has been observed that in the frontal lobes there is a secretion of a substance called dopamine. This substance plays an important role in motivation by operating on a kind of reward system.

This molecule is also involved in certain abstract pleasures such as listening to music. So if I do something with the hope of success I will want to move. If I have the opposite impression that I can’t do it then I don’t want to move. When you feel like you can’t do it, another hormone is secreted, still in the frontal lobes, called serotonin, which is a substance that plays an important role in inhibition.

Some explain that they would have to inculcate in the children the notion of effort to solve the problems of motivation.

A blocked child is, as they say, blocked. You can teach it whatever you want, it won’t get any better. You will rather manage to make him a rebellious person. His school results will not improve any further. And what are you going to do with these children blocked by stress? Today, they are left on the low side with their shortcomings, declaring that they are lazy. It’s a bit convenient and easy, don’t you think? This is how we find these children in a process of failure. They are directed towards paths that they have not chosen, and that they consider demeaning. Some feel so bad that they turn to violence. It is by being aware of the mechanisms of failure that we can solve the problems of children and young people who fail.

I am not saying that rigorous education and a sense of effort are useless. This education will be effective when these children, these young people have been helped to overcome their obstacles.

Precisely what are the solutions to overcome these blockages?

A child will be overwhelmed if he has a negative or very negative environment around him. For example, if the parents constantly tell their child that they won’t make it. It is the same for the teachers with their remarks. Here again it is not a question of concealing a reality. When a child does not work you must not hide it, you must tell him. But above all we must avoid words that denote a value judgment such as ” you are lazy, you are not intelligent etc.. “.

You have to be careful what you say, especially at times when parents and teachers feel overwhelmed or stressed. Words have power and speech is sacred especially in this educational context where parents and teachers are authority figures. They are not sufficiently aware of the scope of what they can say about children. I know it’s not easy every day. But already start with that to avoid blocking a child.

It is the environment that discourages the child. The fact of noticing that he is not working is a symptom, a visible external sign. Especially since today, it is easy to lose focus and plunge into idleness with social networks, games, etc. The child can quickly get into the habit of idleness afterwards. But if the child regains morale, he will go back to work.

Do you have an example of a negative situation?

So of course there was no immediate visible effect on her school results, but this young girl found the motivation to go to the speech therapist and gradually fill in her gaps. And that’s what counts.

To conclude, I would say that often the child does not advance any more because the environment in which he lived is not a positive environment and giver of hope.

Interview with Louis MUSSO – 6 min 37 –

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